Good morning world

Its a weird day today. Not quite sure where my head's at this morning.

Feel like i've got all this nervous energy thats bursting to get out of me.
I always feel like this in work at the moment and i'm not sure why. I'm like a cat on hot bricks and walk around the place talking rubbish and being generally quite highly strung.
Its not because i'm around other people because I don't act like this when i'm with friends and/or family so I can't figure it out.
Could be the coffee I guess or the fact that i'm constantly surfing the edge of madness. In either case its not doing me much good at the moment and I need to curb it a bit methinks.
Anyhoo,my birthday has now passed and also my Anniversary. I'm not going into any depth about that because it was a tough day.
What made it harder was knowing that Nat was going through exactly what I was on that day. There was nothing I could do about that either and it was a weird feeling knowing that someone you love was going through so much pain and you couldn't do a thing to help because you were one of the main reasons why. That I was going through the same thing made it almost surreal.
It was like a mutual suffering brought on by the death of a relative or a traumatic event that was shared but couldn't be helped either way.
Very strange.

Still, in any case. It came and went thankfully and now i'm on the other side of it now.
Things are pretty rough for me at the moment but i'm getting the occasional glimpse of blue sky in an otherwise stormy day. The sun has yet to come out for me and I dare say it won't appear for a while.
I can't wait for the day when the sun shines on my back again. My soul needs a bit of sun instead of all this rain and gloom.