Its a long rough road for me

at the moment. How can it not be when you lose someone you love dearly.
Still, trying my best at the moment to keep things together.
The weather doesn't help either. If only the sun would come out for more than 10 minutes a week. Still, it could be worse I guess. At least me and the wife are being civil to each other. I'd hate for things to descend into anything bad between us.
I can't choose her life for her sadly but at least we can try getting on if nothing else.
Still...I miss her dearly and although it seems too far down the road, i'd have her back in a heartbeat. Our relationship would be a lot different this time.
I guess we'll never get the chance to show that but it does make me wonder sometimes about what could be.
Thats the problem with dealing with the abstract and the possible. Its all conjecture and theory. Its nice to dream though.

Anyhoo, i'm off to the Caravan for the weekend. I'm kinda hoping that the sea air will inspire me a bit. I'm taking my gym stuff as well and fully intend to go jogging along those cliff tops in the morning. I may even get some sun...anythings possible.

Birthday in just under 2 weeks. Can't help but to laugh at the irony of being in my late 30's and feeling physically better than i have since i was in my early 20's.

Mentally i'm ruined though so its all swings and roundabouts.

Don't even talk to me about my Anniversary. It cuts me up everytime I think about it.